


I'll use you as a warning sign, I'll use you as a focal point

by lamingtons



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 5 + 1, F/M, It's unhealthy, Season 1, They shouldn't bottle up all their emotions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 06:09:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3198311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamingtons/pseuds/lamingtons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I found love where it wasn't supposed to be<br/>Right in front of me</p><p>or five times Bellamy and Clarke closed themselves off from each other and the one time they let their walls tumble down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll use you as a warning sign, I'll use you as a focal point

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the Amber Run song _I Found_  
>  Hope you enjoy :)

i.

Bellamy watches her with sorrow eyes as she takes the knife from his hand, begging her to do what he couldn't with a silent plea. She hesitates and that's when he knows that she's too weak to commit this act of mercy, too weak to take a life. With that, he braces himself, ready to take the knife back from her.

 _It has to be done_. He assures himself, sparing one last glance at the boy writhing in pain underneath him. _He's beyond saving_.

But in that moment Clarke does the unexpected; driving the knife into Atom's neck without even flinching. Bellamy just stares at the scene in front of him dumbfound, while Clarke soothes the boy with a lullaby as the last moments of his life draw closer.

What he sees makes him contemplate everything he'd ever been told because - _goddammit_ \- Clarke Griffin had just done what even he couldn't bring himself to do. She’s no longer the weak, privileged girl he'd envisioned in his mind; no longer the selfish, upper class girl he'd loved to hate; no longer the innocent princess that landed on earth.

She continues to sing, comforting the poor boy as he drifts into unconsciousness. How does she even maintain her composure right now? Is she used to this? Does she enjoy this type of shit?

But he knows - _he knows_ \- this isn't her. It's the look in her eyes, the way she's trying her hardest to hold back the tears, the way she tries to avoid his gaze. A wave of guilt passes through him; _she shouldn't have been the one to carry this burden_. He’s the hardened leader, the rebel prince, the one who makes the tough sacrifice, and she? She’s supposed to be the fragile princess. She’s supposed to be in distress and he’s supposed to save the day. That's how fairy tale went, not the other way around. (Maybe this fairy tale is different, maybe it's the prince that's in distress, maybe it's the princess that saves the day.)

She takes the lead as they make their way back to the dropship, purposely averting Bellamy's presence. The silence is suffocating, as unanswered questions linger between them. She knows she should say something to someone sooner or later because all her pent up emotions will eventually burst out. But she just can't relive it again; she just can't bring herself to retell the events that just took place.

She considers Bellamy - no need to retell the story, no need to question her actions - but no, they despise each other too much for Clarke to be sharing her deepest and darkest thoughts to him. (Still, it bothers her for the rest of the journey as she continuously talks herself into and out of saying something to him.)

When she enters the camp Finn is her saviour, distracting her from thinking about Bellamy. He helps her get everything ready as she heads for the dropship. For the rest of the night she focuses her attention on preparing the seaweed for Jasper, desperately searching for a distraction from the curly haired boy.

He does the same, distracting himself with other trivial things except all he could think of was her. As much as he loathes Clarke, he couldn't just ignore what she just did for him. He wants to thank her, well at least acknowledge that she isn't the self-absorbed, pretentious snob he thought she was. But he knows she needs space, needs time to think; so for the entire trip home, he keeps his mouth shut.

He was going to say something once they reach camp but before he could, she’d already gone off with spacewalker. She’s avoiding him, it’s obvious, but Bellamy just watches as the blonde walks off towards the dropship before disappearing inside.

"Get Clarke whatever she needs." That’s all he orders to the camp. It wasn't an apology but it’s the best he could do under the circumstances.

That night, as he falls asleep his thoughts wander back to her. He wants to know more about her, why she's here and who she really is. But of course, she doesn't seem like the type to go around sharing personal details, especially with someone like him. Maybe that's how it will always be between them, forever cold and distant. He knows it'll probably be that way but he keeps wishing it's not because somehow, he doesn't hate her anymore and he wants her to not hate him too.

**Author's Note:**

> So as you've probably guessed, this is my first fic. I would just like to apologise for the bad grammar, spelling, sentence structure and plot :/ Anyway... please feel free to review, it would be greatly appreciated.
> 
> Also, I'm Australian (hence the username) so everything Australian spelling.
> 
> (21/01/2015) I would like to thank my amazing boyfriend for fixing up the tenses in this fic. You're pretty deece M8!


End file.
